Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Turkey Dump Phenomenon

13 October 2009, Launch Magazine.

When I initially heard of The Turkey Dump, I imagined fowl, feathers and, well, poop. However, it’s actually a phenomenon that afflicts many couples who try to date long-distance during their first year away at college or university.

A Turkey Dump is when a student returns home from school during the Thanksgiving holiday to break up with their significant other. This is usually one of the first times a student goes home for the year and also one of the first times a relationship can be ended in person.

The Turkey Dump and Gen Y

Long distance relationships have been a part of Western culture for centuries. For example, sailors would often be gone for months at a time during the warmer months in order to procure wealth for their families. In 19th century British fiction, females would always be depicted as pining over their lovers. Lastly, whenever a man went to war, he would often leave his girlfriend/fiancé/wife behind, as was evident in both the First and Second World Wars.

On the other hand, The Turkey Dump has become a large part of Generation Y – more so than any other generation. It was not until the apathetic Gen Xers came along that going to college or university was common for all socioeconomic classes and, as a result, more young adults are subject to long-distance relationships than ever before.

But I can’t really say why for sure more of us now break up en masse at this time of year. Maybe it’s because marriage and relationships were a much bigger deal once upon a time. Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the parents of Gen Y children always told us we could do and have anything we want to, and thus we never want to settle when things get a little bit tough.

Scott McCarter created a Turkey Dump website in 2006, when he noticed a lot of couples would break up during the Thanksgiving weekend. The site has user-submitted stories, e-cards, and a forum all about the Turkey Dump.

The Turkey Dump has recently become part of academia too. University of Guelph master’s student Duncan Stewart included the Turkey Dump in sociology thesis on Anticipatory Coping. Stewart looked into how people would prepare in advance for negative situations, such as being dumped unexpectedly; which is what often happens in a Turkey Dump.

Other studies, including those in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, state that up to 74% of first-year undergraduate long-distance relationships will fail by the end of first year.

My story

Long-distance relationships (be they with friends, family or romantic partners) can be incredibly difficult. I would know. Everything for me is long-distance. It is about a 20-minute drive for me to get to public transit, which happens to be the distance to Brampton, the next-largest city. Most of the friends I’ve met while studying at McMaster live an hour or more away, so if we ever want to get together, there is a lot of planning involved.

In addition, my partner (who I met at McMaster) is from another province (Alberta), and goes home in the summer to spend time with his family. This fall, he will be doing a post-graduate degree at UBC while I am still at Mac. Although we got through this holiday season, we still have a long way to go before we’ll end up even in the same province.

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