Valentines Day 2010

February 13 2010. MacInsiders.

With Valentine's Day less than a day away, some people have different responses than others: some are scoffing the holiday, others are eagerly looking forward to it, while others are in a sheer panic. Which one of these three are you feeling right now?

Interestingly enough, Valentine's Day has a much different history than you would think. It was originally a fertility ritual involving blood and sacrifice. Click here to read an archived MacInsiders article about the origins of the holiday. Since then, the holiday has obviously changed a lot!

Recent studies suggest that there is a "science" behind love, which makes us feel the way we do when we are with our significant other. From blood rituals to hormones to dating. Very, interesting!

Many couples spend the day or evening with each other celebrating their relationship. Like anyrelationship you have, maintaining one with a partner takes work.

We're students, so sometimes big, expensive dates aren't really possible. It's more about the time you spend with your partner, than what you do. There are lots of possibilities for inexpensive dates, sometimes you just have to be a little bit creative. Perhaps one of the best ideas is to stay in and do things together, like cook dinner and watch a bunch of love stories with some popcorn.

No matter what you choose to do this Valentine's Day, remember to protect yourself and your partner: no glove, no love (or another witty slogan which encourages you to practice safe sex)!

What are you doing this Valentine's Day? Are you celebrating with your partner, or are you celebrating an anti-Valentine's Day with friends? OR, is Valentine's Day just like any other day for you?

Why you should dump your high school sweetheart

Novembr 12 2009. Launch Magazine.

The hardest thing about being in a long-distance relationship continued from high school into college or university is that feelings can change, and they often do.

Why you should dump your high school sweetheart

Being in a relationship can really hinder your ability to meet new people. This is especially important in first and second year, as the friends you make there can help you get through your classes, give you something to do when not in class or studying, get you involved in extra-curricular activities, and likely be people you will keep in touch with for the rest of your life. Each year you should aim to meet new people – you never know what you could gain from a friendship.

So, how do you dump your high school sweetheart without looking like a complete jerk?

I have been dumped cruelly in the past. The worst one happened while we were at a bar. He was drunk, I had no cash and a bunch of my belongings were at his friends’ house. Best. Night. Ever.

Unfortunately, there a lot of jerks out there (I seem to have dated quite a few) and there are ways people get dumped which are frankly pretty mean.

If you ever want to end a relationship, don’t do it this way – ever

• Through Facebook, Twitter or other social networking sites
• While at a bar
• Via text message
• At a sports game allowing the ordeal to be caught on the JumboTron
• Using a friend to deliver the news
• By leaving a note on the car windshield
• On their birthday
• In public in the middle of a date together
• Right after sex
• Via instant message (like GChat, MSN, Facebook, etc.)
• Leaving a Post-It note

For the (rather unfortunate) dumpee

You’re probably not feeling too great about yourself at the moment. I’ve been dumped in some pretty cruel ways myself, so I know how you feel: sometimes you just don’t see these things coming.

What to do now? Move on. What it takes can really vary from person-to-person, but usually you mourn your relationship for a little while, accept that it wasn’t a good match, and then get back to normal. Regardless of how soon you are ready to date again, spend time outside of class, homework, and sleep, around other people.

Think about all of the awesome things you do and why others like to be around you. Keep doing the things that make you the amazing individual you are (or maybe try some new things), and you will meet a whole group of people you never could have met if you were still pining over your ex. This is the best time of your life to meet new people so get out and do it! There are multiple ways you can do it in university or college, such as joining clubs, student government, intramurals, volunteering, or working part-time.

Why being single is actually great

• You’re not accountable to anyone
• You can flirt and not get in any trouble
• You can watch whatever you want on TV
• You can be happy with who you are, not who your significant other wants you to be
• You don’t need to discuss going to certain social engagements
• You can spend as much time with your friends as you want
• You don’t need to give a lame excuse for not spending enough time on yourself
• You can wear what you choose to bed and no one steals your blankets
• You don’t need to tolerate moodiness
• You don’t need to worry about if they will call
• You can buy whatever food you want
• You can appreciate your independence

The Turkey Dump Phenomenon

13 October 2009, Launch Magazine.

When I initially heard of The Turkey Dump, I imagined fowl, feathers and, well, poop. However, it’s actually a phenomenon that afflicts many couples who try to date long-distance during their first year away at college or university.

A Turkey Dump is when a student returns home from school during the Thanksgiving holiday to break up with their significant other. This is usually one of the first times a student goes home for the year and also one of the first times a relationship can be ended in person.

The Turkey Dump and Gen Y

Long distance relationships have been a part of Western culture for centuries. For example, sailors would often be gone for months at a time during the warmer months in order to procure wealth for their families. In 19th century British fiction, females would always be depicted as pining over their lovers. Lastly, whenever a man went to war, he would often leave his girlfriend/fiancé/wife behind, as was evident in both the First and Second World Wars.

On the other hand, The Turkey Dump has become a large part of Generation Y – more so than any other generation. It was not until the apathetic Gen Xers came along that going to college or university was common for all socioeconomic classes and, as a result, more young adults are subject to long-distance relationships than ever before.

But I can’t really say why for sure more of us now break up en masse at this time of year. Maybe it’s because marriage and relationships were a much bigger deal once upon a time. Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the parents of Gen Y children always told us we could do and have anything we want to, and thus we never want to settle when things get a little bit tough.

Scott McCarter created a Turkey Dump website in 2006, when he noticed a lot of couples would break up during the Thanksgiving weekend. The site has user-submitted stories, e-cards, and a forum all about the Turkey Dump.

The Turkey Dump has recently become part of academia too. University of Guelph master’s student Duncan Stewart included the Turkey Dump in sociology thesis on Anticipatory Coping. Stewart looked into how people would prepare in advance for negative situations, such as being dumped unexpectedly; which is what often happens in a Turkey Dump.

Other studies, including those in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, state that up to 74% of first-year undergraduate long-distance relationships will fail by the end of first year.

My story

Long-distance relationships (be they with friends, family or romantic partners) can be incredibly difficult. I would know. Everything for me is long-distance. It is about a 20-minute drive for me to get to public transit, which happens to be the distance to Brampton, the next-largest city. Most of the friends I’ve met while studying at McMaster live an hour or more away, so if we ever want to get together, there is a lot of planning involved.

In addition, my partner (who I met at McMaster) is from another province (Alberta), and goes home in the summer to spend time with his family. This fall, he will be doing a post-graduate degree at UBC while I am still at Mac. Although we got through this holiday season, we still have a long way to go before we’ll end up even in the same province.