As the academic year is drawing to a close, many of us will be leaving Hamilton to move back home for the next four months.
University life is pretty awesome, because you get to choose your own rules. Sure, there are some you still need to obey (like the ones in res), as well as the law in general, but for the most part you can live your life exactly how you want to. I know the way I choose to live my life is different than the way I lived when I was at home with my parents before university. Even the way I lived the summers while at home is different than the way I live on my own. I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. There are things you do now that you didn’t do before. Some of these things your parents may not agree with, which is obviously the issue. What do you do?
Have a talk with your parents. You’re an adult now (unless you’re some sort of freakishly smart kid who started university the same year you celebrated your seventeenth birthday), so you’ve got to act like one so that your parents have mutual respect for you. Find out what your rules are. You may have a curfew again. You may not. Maybe you can get your parents to come to the agreement where they don’t care when you get home, but you have to call if you’re going to stay out past a certain time. Breaking these rules will only cause more conflict, no matter how dumb you think they may be.
There will likely be other similar rules in your house you need to discuss. Can your significant other sleep over? Can they sleep in your bed? If you’re still underage, are you permitted to drink alcohol in the house with their permission? When is it too late to be playing music loudly: 9PM? 10PM? 11PM? Never? What time do you need to have guests leave your house? Of course there all kinds of other rules that you may have had in the past, or may have now...these are just some suggestions based on me and my friends in our experiences at home. You may be incredibly lucky and have no rules at all. Regardless of if you have rules or not, there are some things you should do while at home to show that your time at university has helped you grow up.
If you’re driving the car, fill up the gas tank. I know I hate getting into a car with no gas, and I don’t know anyone who thinks otherwise. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has been peeved off when they have to fill up the tank in order to go anywhere. Also, don’t use the backseat as a garbage bag. Eeeew.
Volunteer yourself to help out. This can be done by doing the grocery shopping, cooking a meal once a week, washing the car, mowing the lawn, weeding etc. It’ll show your parents you’re taking initiative in helping the family, and that you’ve matured while you are away.
You’re all going to hate me for saying this...but you should also think about possibly contributing to some of the family bills if you are working. This will teach you how to budget your money better, and again show your parents how you’ve grown. 10% of each pay check is a reasonable amount. Maybe you can get your parents to put this money aside for you and give it to you at the end of the summer for a large purchase instead.
Lastly, choose your battles wisely. I think it’s fair to say that you will not see eye to eye the entire time you are there. If there is something you really want, then talk to your parents about it. However, when you are in the discussion with them, have solid rebuttals to back yourself up. Acting like a child will only cause your parents to hold their position more. The key to any relationship, no matter who is involved is compromise, so make sure that you do so this summer.
Good luck!
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